Mothering Fearlessly
Author Elizabeth Stone once said that having a child ‘is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside of your body.’ While I don’t believe that my kids’ existences are the result of human decision (barring romantic timing), our kids each being a very specific and meticulously planned for gift, this quote resonates with me a thousandfold.
It causes me to contemplate my own heart; physically and spiritually. My perfect Father crafted my heart, treasures my heart, guards my heart and keeps it beating and pumping the oxygen my body needs to keep me alive. He causes it to be moved and to burn at His presence and His Word. I trust Him implicitly with my heart.
If my children are the embodiment of my heart, navigating this increasingly bananas world, I need to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that hearts are valued, nurtured, nourished and protected. My heart is kept alive by my miraculous involuntary nervous system. Similarly, my beautiful children are watched over, celebrated and protected by the One who crafted and oversees them so, so fastidiously.
As a result of this observation, I utterly REFUSE to let fear be a word in my parenting vocabulary. I have no interest in any ‘worst case scenario’ planning. Having made the introduction between my kids and their Source and witnessed and experienced their receptivity to Him, I can rest securely in the fact that their lives are held in the palm of His hand and NOTHING, not even death, can snatch them away from Him. Experimenting, pushing boundaries, questing, trying and failing are all grist for His redemptive mill! I trust Him implicitly with my ‘Hearts’.
I decided to canvas my five in order to unearth what it was that they appreciate about the journey that we’ve all taken together; precisely what, in their opinion, makes me a good Mom?
My eldest (21) said that he values being taught that he should always pursue his God given creative passions and do what he was made to do. That practicality is overrated and to always go for the things that are important to and resonate with him! He appreciates being taught to embrace authenticity and confidence in one’s identity; to be open to, respectful and aware of the intrinsic value of others and of their journey.
My two oldest girls (16 and 19) are most grateful for the ability to have their own boundaries, to have privacy and their own opinions, to cultivate individuality and expression. I am beyond blessed that these three feel safe and trusted enough to unfailingly share their hearts, screw ups and secrets with me. I will NOT be shaken by their bravery and courage. God’s love is bigger than any attempt to hobble them with distraction or the shame of a less than wise decision. I choose, over and over again, to see them the way that Jesus does.
My youngest daughter (13) enjoys being allowed to experiment with hair, make up and clothing...she loves to play with her appearance, which I remember doing so fondly.
Our youngest (10) told me that I ‘cook good’. Excellent feedback.
The fruit of fearlessness in the context of relationship is beautiful, sometimes messy communication and unshakeable trust. My whole hearted desire is to feel, model, display and live from the calm, radiant, peaceful yet FEROCIOUS love of God for and to my children. My kids are ultimately people planned for, named, gifted, placed and overseen with such care. They are His and He is theirs. Everything they need as overcomers and champions is solidly entrenched in their DNA. I’m just privileged to be along for the ride...
