From Obsessive to Intentional;
The Journey to Health, Fitness and Friendship with Our Bodies.
I often think how blessed my daughters are to grow up in an era of radical body acceptance and with the scope and courage to experiment with their clothing free of strict subculture rules and regs and the disapproval of an ‘Us v Them’ church culture.Their flamboyance and fun, born of a love of stories, history and costuming, has always been met with interest and appreciation, rather than disapproval and assumptions about their relationship with God. The trick is to use this gift wisely and consider it a time, purpose and identity informer, rather than a social media boon and negative attention magnet. It’s ALL about perspective, relationship and openness to the Good.
I often imagine how different my ways of viewing myself, ways of spending my time, and my focus, reactions and behaviour towards others would have been had I been free of an ultra critical, self loathing spirit that seemed to be controlling me and most of my peers, whether they knew Jesus or not. We wasted YEARS scrupulously examining perceived flaws, attempting to mold ourselves into cookie cutter bodies and probably murdered multiple brain cells trying insane diets and eating plans that our young and growing bodies had no business subjecting ourselves to.
Happily, years that have been stolen are always cheerfully returned to us by a loving and present Father who hates seeing us hate us.
The road to capital H ‘Health’ has been paved with a myriad of misunderstandings and dumb mistakes, but ultimately, He’s led me to a place of enjoyment, fulfilment and approval for myself that is liberating and rewarding. From embracing the pursuit of Hotness and being noticed and appreciated for my physical appearance, to the understanding that my longevity, vitality, enjoyment of and presence in my own life are the preeminent reasons for pursuing knowledge and wisdom about my body, soul and spirit. This mindset and practice has been fifty years in the making...and I’m still pumped to learn and to grow.
Learning that Health means well being in ALL of my parts was an eye opener, for sure. My physical, emotional, spiritual, social and intellectual components all inform and speak to one another. Experiencing outrageous kidney pain for days on end gave me a completely fresh appreciation for the fact that if one of these systems is out of whack, we can hardly think straight. When breathing hurts, nothing is meaningful. If we feel purposeless or unseen we feel awful, and this leads to spiritual malaise and isolation. Spiritual/emotional infirmity is toxic and wreaks all sorts of havoc. Feeling intellectually stunted or unsatisfied makes our spirits wither and die. We need full Integration and health in our bodies, minds and spirits in order to live fully in joy, peace, contentment AND zeal for the next project, challenge or activity, be it action packed or restful.
The goal is to bring it all together in unity, wholeness and fulfillment. Thankfully, God LOVES Process. Proverbs 4:21-22 says “Fill your thoughts with my words until they penetrate deep into your spirit. Then, as you unwrap my words, they will impart true life and radiant health
into the very core of your being.”
His Word is Life and wisdom. It imparts energy, passion and ability. My Process includes ingesting Hope, beauty and truth via the Word every day. It makes me brave and able. I set myself challenges that I’m excited to crush and move beyond, knowing that through connecting with Jesus, I’m ultra qualified. It helps me to trust my gut and live from a place of non-reactive Peace. It’s my incentive to nourish myself wisely and intuitively. His word feeds my energy for movement and physical challenge. I want my spirits’ health to be mirrored in my bodies’ health. I want my mind and spirit to inform my physiology. I glow because my spirit is alive and I am full of the Light of the world Who obliterates darkness and infirmity.
My ‘Why?’ becomes a shift from exterior to interior. To feel that beautiful wholeness and to engage with outrageous possibilities. My January 2020 lament to my buddy Ryan that ‘I can’t even do one push up’ has pushed me to be able to knock out one hundred push ups by January 2021...starting with one sad and struggle-y little push up! This has been a game changer. To just start with one.
This is a far cry from my teenage summers of aerobics and cigarettes, or from my young adult years of punishing my body with chemicals one minute, and wacko exercise regimens the next. As soon as pregnancy happened, all partying came to a screeching halt and my body became the matrix for growing a healthy little person...followed by four more little ones. It also became a place I wasn’t friends with and didn’t even really recognize for well over a decade. Constant fluctuations in size and shape were confusing and difficult to manage. Wearing pregnant lady clothing or Tyler’s giant shirts didn’t really make me feel like myself, and it was a long road back to reclaiming and inhabiting this body authentically again. Thankfully, I’ve made my way to a secure and lasting friendship with myself that I’ve never experienced before. I asked God for help, and He did NOT disappoint. He is present and invested in the tiniest of details about my life. It’s a pleasure to listen to Him and apply what He says to my days… wisdom surrounding food, exercise, career, calm and non-violent strategies for my parenting and relationships, for navigating my tasks and responsibilities. It’s all available. We have access to the training of God, in order to be ready, willing and able to handle and champion all things. The strength of Jesus’ explosive power and ability infuses me to conquer every challenge or difficulty every single minute of every single day, while still understanding that I’m allowed to be vulnerable or weak. We have not because we ask not. I want every strategy of God to enable me to be a wild overcomer and to live my life to the fullest with endurance, stamina and joy, all of my days.
Take the baton, y’all. You can do it! Run this race with passion and determination. Lock eyes with the One who extends creativity, possibility and unplumbed depths of hope and curiosity to you! You are capable, strong, brave, clever and beautiful. Step out and try something challenging and scary. Ask Him for help in your journey. Lay it all on the table and try. You’re so worth it and so loved.
