An Alternative to Wall Punching
Oh boy, late blog post alert! I was recently pondering how I’d react with and inhabit the gratitude I’ve been constantly going on and on about when the actual crap hit the fan...what happens to the parental gratitude taps when things are going sideways? Juuust when I decided to implement very specific daily gratitude declarations over each one of my children, of course all hell broke loose. Relationships were in jeopardy. Feelings were hurt, and things were said that needed addressing. Now that I know how to look at negative occurrences, however, particularly when I’m embarking upon something that has serious potential in the spirit to unleash tremendous liberty and build up those relationships, things come into focus remarkably quickly. OF COURSE there will be instances of freak out and friction as a result of my decision to cultivate a habit of intense gratitude for each of my kids on the daily. Of course things will seem wildly off course and irretrievable to the naked eye. Gladly, I know better. I know that taking a beat in order to pull back and adjust the lens through which I’m looking, to ask for help and discernment in order to align it with the Father’s mind, heart and wisdom, will bring immediate clarity and calm. Storms mean serious battle and this is why I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I am really onto something big. There is tremendous ground to be taken, and Gratitude is a massive Breaker in the Spirit realm.
Saying ‘thank you’ seems like such a tiny thing, particularly if it’s just part of your household culture. It’s just what you say. It’s kind. It’s the correct thing to say when someone opens the door for you, serves you a meal, picks you up after a class or hands you something. It sometimes feels too little to be lavish, when we want to make grand statements or gestures in order to pour out our grateful hearts to a Big God. But believe this; when we say ‘thank you’, over and over, and allow it to begin to mean more to us than we ever thought it would, those two words become a door to another place inside of us which holds the power to impact our interior and exterior ecosystem. They become a key that unlocks our hearts and causes us to cleave to a Person who is SO invested in us, so present for us, so eager to communicate with us, that it becomes overwhelming and gigantic. It becomes a natural response to all things. A preemptive ‘thank you’ when we need something, big or tiny, becomes what’s on our lips, because He is wise enough to know what to do, even if it doesn’t make a bit of sense to us in the moment. It alleviates frustration with a kid or a partner. It becomes a mindset and a health informing place of standing, and it builds our faith, our steadfastness and our vision beyond our wildest dreams. Gratitude is a miracle building miracle, even when things seem at their crappiest.
The day after beginning a new project, in which I had begun to sit with what I’m grateful to God about regarding each one of my kids and really going to town with it, along comes massive misunderstanding, wild and untrue assumptions run rampant, and a rollercoaster ride of big emotions kicks into high gear. Seriously, I haven’t cried that much in years. Thankfully, I had some Preparation H kicking around that I could apply to my Muppet eyes in order to lead a Zoom prayer call later in the afternoon without having to explain why suddenly I was eye-less.
As a result of the past years’ decisions to go all in with my relationship with Jesus and to really listen to Him and befriend Him with everything I’ve got, I was able to isolate the issue; the enemy hates Gratitude. He hates our examination of and focus on the Goodness of an unchangeable Force of Power and Beauty that is utterly personal and available. Discord and anger are the preferred state and it drives him bananas when we put Gratitude under a microscope and begin to unpack it in order to come closer to the One who means everything and holds all Authority, Purpose, Peace, Joy and Abundant Life in His hands, ready, willing and able to pour it out lavishly. When the result of the habit of Gratitude is personal peace that surpasses our understanding, relationships cannot help but flourish, regardless of normal human crises or foibles that are sometimes unavoidable. My intention to articulate and embody Gratitude to God for the gifts that are my kids was causing an attack on the very thing I was choosing to lift and celebrate. How easy would it have been for me to feel like an utter fraud and failure? Very. Happily, I now know better and reject utterly the attempt to rob me of connection and opportunity. The strategy of attack was so obvious and circumnavigable.
Humility has never been my best thing. Is it kind of awful that I’d always been semi low key pleased with myself that it wasn’t? Didn’t that mean that I was a tough guy, that I held myself to a higher standard? Wasn’t it proof that I valued myself? It wasn’t even on the list of things to work on or desire. Now, I am beginning to understand the currency of heaven and that attaching ourselves to Him brings organic and authentic character change that I never thought possible. Change in ways I wasn’t even aware of, since I was focusing on other things that appealed to me about Him and His kingdom. Now I am starting to see that true toughness, true grit and stamina in the Spirit are a result of deep humility and reliance, constant connection and a compassionate heart.
It’s okay to have to deal with broken things. It doesn’t mean it’s all for naught. It means that you’re onto something and that you have an opportunity to be wildly tenacious and to give Jesus yet another John 11:15 opportunity to display what He’s capable of, specifically for you and your crew.
Preemptive Gratitude is needed periodically. Give thanks when you can’t see why you should.
It’s okay to sit in the pile of brokenness and reach out from that place of pain and humility in order to give Him a chance to shine. Our tears are collected, catalogued and valued by Him, and when we cry from that place of utter desperation and helplessness, the response isn’t far behind. I’ve seldom ever said to Him “I’m so sad and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Please help me. Thank You”. I’ve always tried to be resilient and strong. The crisis that I was incapable of fixing beget an incredible deepening of relationship and brought more breakthrough and communication into my friendships with and understanding of my older kids.
Of course my passion and purpose was attacked, but instead of succumbing to shame, I gave thanks. I asked for help. I literally cried for restoration from a place of needing to be a kid before Him and thank Him before I saw Him move.
This is such a simple and childlike hack that it seems too good to be true. Saying ‘thank You’ feels little and lame the first few times you do it, but it grows into powerful and beautiful ammunition for any attempted take down. It informs your choices, your self talk, your perceptions and your relationships. Thanksgiving builds inner strength and resilience, and takes your Faith into places you’ve never thought possible. Gratitude deepens the adventure and opens up channels of power and possibility in the face of weakness and disappointment. Acknowledging His goodness and willingness to intervene, and being okay with whatever that means, is our key to living a life of fire and humility, to experiencing freedom on an unprecedented scale. So begin with a tiny ‘thank You’, and watch it change your life.
